I wanna go home
by Dramione Cullen
Summary: Set in New Moon. Edward thinks about Bella and fights his urge to head back to Forks to be with her. Song : Home by Michael Buble. Better than Summary.One Shot


**Authors Note : I do not own the characters, song or Twilight and New Moon in any way. All rights go to Stephanie Meyer and Michael Buble.**

_Set during New Moon. Set in Edwards POV. Edwards thoughs before his phone call with Rosalie. Just my interprutation of what he may have been thinking. Song is by Michael Buble and it's called Home. Everytime I have heard this recently I can't stop thinking about Edward and Bella. Please review and tell me what you think. I'm really wanting to get a lot of feedback on this. _

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**A lone figure walked the streets of Rome, watching the people that walked by him, watching the couples that seemed to crowd the street. Not so long ago it was he who was part of a couple, a couple that however unusual were so in love that people would stop and stare. **

**He, a monster, and she, an angel, were kind of couple that would usually only be read about in romance novels. Their own romance novel however had ended far too prematurely. **

**He could remember it as if it were yesterday, he claimed that he no longer loved her and left her sitting in the cold, wet forest of forks. The look on her face as his mouth let out the lies was heartbreaking, even now his unbeating heart broke just thinking about it. He had left Forks and even the USA and travelled abroad to places like Paris, Rome, Berlin and London. **

**It didn't matter no matter where Edward stayed he was always haunted by the memory of Bella. He missed her so much, he missed the way she would bite her lip whenever she was nervous, he missed the way her cheeks used to flush every time she was embarrassed. All of her adorable little habits that made her Bella had haunted Edward everyday. **

**It didn't matter is he was in the busiest place on earth something always reminded him of her. Be it a girl that looked similar to her or the smell of freesias and lavender every time he passed a florist. He could be surrounded by his whole family and yet he still felt alone, because the only person that he wanted, the only person that completed him was missing.**

**All he wanted to do was go back to Forks and be with Bella, but he knew he couldn't. He endangered her life more than enough times and he would not be as selfish as to go back and do it again.**

_**Another summer day**_

_**Has come and gone away**_

_**In Paris and Rome**_

_**But I wanna go home**_

_**Hmmm...**_

_**May be surrounded by**_

_**A million people I**_

_**Still feel all alone**_

_**I just wanna go home**_

_**Oh, I miss you, you know**_

**He had written letters to her nearly everyday, with words like **_**sorry**_** and **_**I miss you**_** but he never sent them to her, he couldn't because the words though true would make her see just how much of a monster he was. The letters were kept in a drawer back in every hotel that he stayed in. He would sometimes read them when it was sunny outside, the words that he wrote just never seemed to be enough, they were never filled with the feelings of love and devotion that he had for her. **

**The letter that was written today was so pathetic that he cringed when he read it over. He had told her that he was fine and enjoying the sites, even going so far as to ask her how she was. He knew that he would never send this one if he did decide to send her the rest, because it was so cold to ask the person that you left how they were doing. **

_**And I've been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you**_

_**Each one a line or two**_

_**I'm fine baby, how are you?**_

_**I would send them but I know **_

_**That it's just not enough**_

_**My words were cold and flat**_

_**And you deserve more than that**_

**Bella deserved so much more that what he was offering in letters and in life. She deserved someone that could make her happy her whole life instead of in danger. Edward knew that she would find it soon, there was no way that Bella would stay single for long, and as much as it would pain him to know that someone else had taken his place he knew that it was in Bella's best interests. She would be safer and would be happier in the long run. **

**Edward was staying in the beautiful city of letters at the moment, most people would be ecstatic to spend time in such a beautiful city but he was homesick and wanted to return home. Everyday he would watch the planes in the sky and wish that he were on **

**Wished that he were flying back instead of sitting on the steps of cathedrals miserable. **

**The space that was between Bella and him was unbearable sometimes. It seemed that he was a galaxy away from her instead of countries. He counted the miles between them and had deduced that it was over 4400 miles. **

**Much too far to run to her and not far enough to keep her from him. If he really wanted he could get their in a day or two. Distance would never stop him if he really needed to return. **

_**Another aeroplane**_

_**Another sunny place**_

_**I'm lucky and I know**_

_**But I wanna go home**_

_**I gotta go home**_

_**Let me go home**_

_**Cause I'm just too far from where you are**_

_**I wanna come home**_

**It pained him to be away from her, especially when things had been going so right in their relationship. They never fought or argued much and had always looked after one another. It didn't feel right that now they were separated. Felt like he was living another life, one that wasn't his own, one that he didn't want to be in. **

**He knew though that as much as he loved Bella , he was not right for her. He knew that she should never be made to live the rest of her innocent life with him. He wanted her to stay human and she wanted to become like him, a creature of the night, someone that should be shunned from the world. **

**Edward constantly himself that because he would never turn her that she would have eventually left him for someone that would have. **

_**And I feel just like **_

_**I'm living someone else's life**_

_**It's like I just stepped outside**_

_**When everything was going right**_

_**And I know just why **_

_**You could not come along with me**_

_**Cause this was not your dream**_

_**But you always believed in me**_

**Now, here he was months later, seasons had changed and he was still as depressed as he had been those first few days without her. If Emmett could see him now he would have told him to suck it up and get the hell back home. Jasper would have told him that he could feel his pain and that he was sorry for the hurt that he had caused. Edward knew that Jasper never meant to harm Bella and that it had been horrible timing. **

_**Another winter day **_

_**Has come and gone away**_

_**In either Paris and Rome**_

_**And I wanna go home**_

_**I said, let me go home**_

**The people around him went about their business and for the most part ignored him, except for a few women who stared at him as they went past. None of them could ever understand. Not a single one could even comprehend the pain that he felt in his chest. He missed her more than words could ever express and every time he thought about her the pain in his chest seemed to grow bigger and bigger. **

_**And I'm surrounded by**_

_**A million people **__**I**_

_**Still feel all alone**_

_**Let me go home**_

_**God, I miss you, you know**_

**With that thought Edward made the decision to stop the pain that he was putting both of them through and be a man and beg her to forgive him. It was stupid and pointless them being apart and he could no longer stand to not have her in his arms. He could only pray that she would accept his apologies and come back to him. **

**Edward rose and walked with new determination through the streets. He would get the first possible plane back to Forks and would talk with Bella. With that Edward ran as fast as he could get away with and came to a stop outside the hotel building. **

_**Let me go home**_

_**I've had my run**_

_**Baby, Im done**_

_**I gotta go home**_

_**Let me go home**_

_**'Cause It'll be all right**_

_**And I'll be home tonight**_

_**I'm coming back home. **_

**Before he could step inside to get the documents needed his phone rang. It was Rosalie, deciding to answer so that he could tell her about his plans he picked up the phone. **

"**Roreose?" he answered**

"**Edward. Oh God Edward I'm so sorry." Rosalie whispered. **

"**Rose. What's wrong?" he urged, impatient and irritated at her lack of timing. **

"**It's Bella. Edward she's dead" Rosalie said**

**Just like that all my plans to go back were dashed and the pain in my chest exploded. Bella was dead. My Bella was dead. The world no longer made sense, it was cold, cruel and dark. I no longer wanted to be apart of it. **

**It was just like Romeo and Juliet. When Romeo found out about Juliet's death, he now understood how Romeo felt. **

**The lines that Romeo was given rang through his head and he found himself whispering them as well. **

"**Then I defy you stars. I will hence tonight."**

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**So like I said please let me know what you think and if you haven't heard the song then I would suggest finding it on youtube and having a listen. I would have written a few more extra paragraphs but my cat Twilight was in my room with me and she was too cute to ignore. **


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